Yahoooo!! Got the permission to use all the questionnaires I intended to. Finally. Was worrying for long time, and now, all of them are here. Well, there are still issues pending, but at least now I got the permission, I can submit to ERB first. Thank God, glad you're with me.
Pending Issues:
NO 1 in list: Researcher A did not attach me her questionnaire and scoring guide (but she gave me the permission to use)
NO 2 in list: Researcher B told me to copy and paste the questionnaire for the article (he also gave me the permission to copy and paste)
NO 3 in list: Need to revise Researcher C questionnaire. So far, Researcher C did not comment.
But then again, at least I got their permission!! Yahoo.. now get back to ERB.....
活在当下，掌握今天
今天心情怪怪的！
怎么说呢？今天有点累，有点开心，有点不开心，有点闷闷的，有点快要死掉的感觉，然后，现在有点饿！！
话说，今天从早10点就一直在开会。开到了3点，然后就去上课。累啊，我差点就要在Winnee的班睡着了！可恶的阿公，还一直在我旁边打瞌睡，影响我！节目排到上课后，我们就去看Joanna男友制作的电影。肚子饿啦，我可是整天只喝了半杯美禄 （另外一半进了阿公的肚子）。一副没力的感觉，超累的！
还好，电影很震动人心，没有白去。可是，也真糟糕！想到自己啊。今天犯了不少的错。记错东西啦，没有做东西啦，等等的。我就觉得自己很白痴一下啊。住在PJ都有20年了，认路技术还是属于IQ零蛋。我还是想不通啊，明明Joanna的教堂里我家才那2个花园。为什么我不会路呢？还带人家走了不少冤枉路，怎么说，都是我不好啊！为什么？为什么？真觉得是自己的不好，让大家不开心。我真得觉得很没用！
回到家，我就倒在床上睡着了，超累的。起来的时候，是1点了。哎呀，我还有很多东西还没有做完啊！肚子又打鼓了！刚才吃了2蝶四个人分享的晚餐。但是哦，家里没有东西可以吃了啦！现在连牛奶都出问题，我真没饭好吃啊！但是，这一切都不是问题。问题是，我要怎么完成我的事？
我需要做的事：
1。 明天10点到公司做工 （阿公的反应是：又答应人家？你不累啊？）
2。我的Thesis啊！！要继续写报告！
3。302的Intro啊！！怎么还没有打完？302的问卷，去哪里找人？
4。311的问答题啊！！怎么还没做好？
5。308罪犯的报告！！剩一点点了
6。精辩啊！!1份报告，1份邀请函！
抓头抓头！看来努力一点比较好。
话说，今天从早10点就一直在开会。开到了3点，然后就去上课。累啊，我差点就要在Winnee的班睡着了！可恶的阿公，还一直在我旁边打瞌睡，影响我！节目排到上课后，我们就去看Joanna男友制作的电影。肚子饿啦，我可是整天只喝了半杯美禄 （另外一半进了阿公的肚子）。一副没力的感觉，超累的！
还好，电影很震动人心，没有白去。可是，也真糟糕！想到自己啊。今天犯了不少的错。记错东西啦，没有做东西啦，等等的。我就觉得自己很白痴一下啊。住在PJ都有20年了，认路技术还是属于IQ零蛋。我还是想不通啊，明明Joanna的教堂里我家才那2个花园。为什么我不会路呢？还带人家走了不少冤枉路，怎么说，都是我不好啊！为什么？为什么？真觉得是自己的不好，让大家不开心。我真得觉得很没用！
回到家，我就倒在床上睡着了，超累的。起来的时候，是1点了。哎呀，我还有很多东西还没有做完啊！肚子又打鼓了！刚才吃了2蝶四个人分享的晚餐。但是哦，家里没有东西可以吃了啦！现在连牛奶都出问题，我真没饭好吃啊！但是，这一切都不是问题。问题是，我要怎么完成我的事？
我需要做的事：
1。 明天10点到公司做工 （阿公的反应是：又答应人家？你不累啊？）
2。我的Thesis啊！！要继续写报告！
3。302的Intro啊！！怎么还没有打完？302的问卷，去哪里找人？
4。311的问答题啊！！怎么还没做好？
5。308罪犯的报告！！剩一点点了
6。精辩啊！!1份报告，1份邀请函！
抓头抓头！看来努力一点比较好。
Hera praises me!
I was excited! I didn't expect to get anything in return (besides the grade and knowledge) from my thesis. When I took this topic (body image), I already know that Hera is tough. I heard from seniors and peers, Hera got high standards, she requires her "children" to prepare a lot. She has criteria that she wants you to follow, she's the hardest supervisor because she's too good in this field! I never and ever dream that I can meet her standard. I cannot imagine I can satisfy her on all the works. But today, before I walked out to the room, she actually praised me! I cannot describe my happiness! All the sudden, it seems like all the late nights works, all the journals digging, all the brainstorming and cracking out idea, ARE WORTH!
Everytime before I went into her room for thesis meeting, I'll sort of having anxiety attack. Even though I prepared, but still, I feel I'm unprepared. Re-read all my notes, even to the extent of stomach ache. But then, it doesn't really freaky in her room! It's just, I don't have the confident. I don't think I've prepare enough stuffs for her. I found that, questions she asked me, are really DEEP. They made me think a lot, and of course, she's not giving me the answer. I guess, that's why I got so freaked out everytime before I went to see her. I'm worry she'll question me something that I cannot answer. Good duh, so far so good. I'm starting to see the way she's coming, and sort of, manage to provide she something that she understands I'm thinking.
So, today I went to see her, proposed my topic to her again (she told me to edit my last paper, but she likes my topic anyway so I just need to rephrase everything), gave her the theories that I used, told her on my justification and my research methods. I showed her the questionnaires that I found, and she was like "oh, you got it". Yeah, it's something I did extra for her, but I thought she should want to see so I prepared. Guess that was something that impressed her first. Then, we continue discussing. She told me that she's fine and okay with everything I done. Sounds like she's chasing me out the room already (Cause she delayed my meeting, and my meeting affected another person's appointment with her), but I pulled out a paper, then her to wait cause I still got questions. Then she was, "wow, there are a lot questions inside your paper". LoL.
Done, and I'm packing to leave her room. Before I walked out, she praised me!! She said: "I'm satisfy with your works and you're in good progress!" Wow, BINGO! I was so happy that I wanted to jump and dance around in the admin room of level 8. Haha! I guess I'm easily satisfy! Anyway, I'm giving myself a break today. But hor.. I think I need to work extra hard after my break because seems like she having high expectation on me too! LoL!
Everytime before I went into her room for thesis meeting, I'll sort of having anxiety attack. Even though I prepared, but still, I feel I'm unprepared. Re-read all my notes, even to the extent of stomach ache. But then, it doesn't really freaky in her room! It's just, I don't have the confident. I don't think I've prepare enough stuffs for her. I found that, questions she asked me, are really DEEP. They made me think a lot, and of course, she's not giving me the answer. I guess, that's why I got so freaked out everytime before I went to see her. I'm worry she'll question me something that I cannot answer. Good duh, so far so good. I'm starting to see the way she's coming, and sort of, manage to provide she something that she understands I'm thinking.
So, today I went to see her, proposed my topic to her again (she told me to edit my last paper, but she likes my topic anyway so I just need to rephrase everything), gave her the theories that I used, told her on my justification and my research methods. I showed her the questionnaires that I found, and she was like "oh, you got it". Yeah, it's something I did extra for her, but I thought she should want to see so I prepared. Guess that was something that impressed her first. Then, we continue discussing. She told me that she's fine and okay with everything I done. Sounds like she's chasing me out the room already (Cause she delayed my meeting, and my meeting affected another person's appointment with her), but I pulled out a paper, then her to wait cause I still got questions. Then she was, "wow, there are a lot questions inside your paper". LoL.
Done, and I'm packing to leave her room. Before I walked out, she praised me!! She said: "I'm satisfy with your works and you're in good progress!" Wow, BINGO! I was so happy that I wanted to jump and dance around in the admin room of level 8. Haha! I guess I'm easily satisfy! Anyway, I'm giving myself a break today. But hor.. I think I need to work extra hard after my break because seems like she having high expectation on me too! LoL!
Wish the best for my friend
To my friend, Olivia:
Time flies, and before you realize, we knew each other for 3 years. Ever since I knew you, you have been telling me about this guy in your heart. How you both met, how he made you mad, how you both quarrel, how he apologize after that, how you and his family interact, how he buys things for you. And I know, this guy is an important person in your life.
Few days ago, you asked me. You asked me is graduated student behave differently from us? You asked me, why don't you feel the love that he had for you anymore? You asked, why are you feeling he's hiding things away from you? I said, I don't know. The most probably reason is that he's busy working and he wants privacy. So, you accept the reason, and I thought the story ended. Then yesterday, you told me, you're not worth for his love. You feel you're useless, and feel you're a burden to him. You told me, you want to break up with him, and he told you he loves money more than he loves you. But no action, and again, I thought the story ended.
Today, when I received your sms, I was terribly shocked. This time, you told me that he said he doesn't have feeling in you anymore. He rather focus on his work so he wants to break up with you. BUT, IF YOU CHANGE your temper, he said he'll be accepting you again. I went online and found you. You told me you have been crying and not eating since then. You asked me why he behave so, and is he just telling you to make you feel better? Again, I said I don't know. I don't know what's going on in a guy's mind, but my concern, is I want you to be happy, and eat.
So, I don't want to tell you how sorry I feel for you. I don't want to have counseling session with you, I don't even want to comfort you because many people would have done so to you and you'll feel you're weak. Instead, depression will hurt your health, and if you're going to continue not eating, then you won't have the second chance to be with him again. So, I found you these few suggestions.
1. Execrise. Simple activities like jogging and swimming will help.
2. Go under the SUN. Don't hide in your little space at home, go see the Sunlight and feel the weather.
3. Eat banana. Interestingly, there's a fibre in banana that help stimulate the brain to minimize negative emotions.
4. Cry. If you feel to cry, please by all means CRY. Let out all your negative feelings.
5. Sleep. Get enough rest and sleep well.
6. Music. Calm music cool your heart and take you to peace.
Now, this might be the darkness moment in your heart. But when you walk out, you'll see light.
Change your focus, learn to let go. Give him a chance, and give yourself a chance to "reborn". Sometimes, we need to experience traumatic pain to grow up. The pain will be so painful that our heart is cracking into pieces. But, that's the process of growing up, as after thunderstorm, there'll be rainbow.
Let those memories, bury into your heart. Gal, we're here to support you!
Pray the best for him, do the best for yourself. Be tough oh!
Wish the best for you..
Love you,
Kate
Time flies, and before you realize, we knew each other for 3 years. Ever since I knew you, you have been telling me about this guy in your heart. How you both met, how he made you mad, how you both quarrel, how he apologize after that, how you and his family interact, how he buys things for you. And I know, this guy is an important person in your life.
Few days ago, you asked me. You asked me is graduated student behave differently from us? You asked me, why don't you feel the love that he had for you anymore? You asked, why are you feeling he's hiding things away from you? I said, I don't know. The most probably reason is that he's busy working and he wants privacy. So, you accept the reason, and I thought the story ended. Then yesterday, you told me, you're not worth for his love. You feel you're useless, and feel you're a burden to him. You told me, you want to break up with him, and he told you he loves money more than he loves you. But no action, and again, I thought the story ended.
Today, when I received your sms, I was terribly shocked. This time, you told me that he said he doesn't have feeling in you anymore. He rather focus on his work so he wants to break up with you. BUT, IF YOU CHANGE your temper, he said he'll be accepting you again. I went online and found you. You told me you have been crying and not eating since then. You asked me why he behave so, and is he just telling you to make you feel better? Again, I said I don't know. I don't know what's going on in a guy's mind, but my concern, is I want you to be happy, and eat.
So, I don't want to tell you how sorry I feel for you. I don't want to have counseling session with you, I don't even want to comfort you because many people would have done so to you and you'll feel you're weak. Instead, depression will hurt your health, and if you're going to continue not eating, then you won't have the second chance to be with him again. So, I found you these few suggestions.
1. Execrise. Simple activities like jogging and swimming will help.
2. Go under the SUN. Don't hide in your little space at home, go see the Sunlight and feel the weather.
3. Eat banana. Interestingly, there's a fibre in banana that help stimulate the brain to minimize negative emotions.
4. Cry. If you feel to cry, please by all means CRY. Let out all your negative feelings.
5. Sleep. Get enough rest and sleep well.
6. Music. Calm music cool your heart and take you to peace.
Now, this might be the darkness moment in your heart. But when you walk out, you'll see light.
Change your focus, learn to let go. Give him a chance, and give yourself a chance to "reborn". Sometimes, we need to experience traumatic pain to grow up. The pain will be so painful that our heart is cracking into pieces. But, that's the process of growing up, as after thunderstorm, there'll be rainbow.
Let those memories, bury into your heart. Gal, we're here to support you!
Pray the best for him, do the best for yourself. Be tough oh!
Wish the best for you..
Love you,
Kate
我不满意我的成绩！
ＩＯ成绩出了，我才刚刚及格！超不满意的！怎么了？我是太久没有上课了，所以跟不上吗？怎么成绩那么的差？后悔呢，我怎么不好好地读书？可能如果我有好好的温习，有好好的听课 （超闷的），我的成绩可能会好一些。
我算过啦，ＩＯ我若还想得到Ａ－的话，离谱咯，我的个人作业需要拿满分，团队报告要拿满分，期末考只能错２％，那么，我才有所谓的一点点的机会。自此其果吧？再不满意，都要继续再努力。总不能拿自己的成绩来开玩笑啊。
现在担心ＰＲＯＦＩＬＩＮＧ了。ＩＯ都考得如此差，哪个我说不会做的考试，岂不会更糟糕吗？真觉得自己真得不够努力，期中考都不能好好地考好成绩。太差了吧？
加油吧！我看我只能够继续努力！
我算过啦，ＩＯ我若还想得到Ａ－的话，离谱咯，我的个人作业需要拿满分，团队报告要拿满分，期末考只能错２％，那么，我才有所谓的一点点的机会。自此其果吧？再不满意，都要继续再努力。总不能拿自己的成绩来开玩笑啊。
现在担心ＰＲＯＦＩＬＩＮＧ了。ＩＯ都考得如此差，哪个我说不会做的考试，岂不会更糟糕吗？真觉得自己真得不够努力，期中考都不能好好地考好成绩。太差了吧？
加油吧！我看我只能够继续努力！
今天考试不会做！
明明读了书，明明作了复习题，可是，今天考试还是一片空白。我复习出来的分数不赖的嘛，105题里头有77分。可是，今天的80题，我看要拿半数的分数都很难。不明白啊，我明明有读书的！怎么会还是不会做呢？真得很担心自己会不及格呢！*呜呜*
桃花依旧
今天我经过block E， 感觉真不如从前，一时间感触良多。今天的block E， 已经今非昔比，连我们的department都已经搬了。现在，它是A levels的天地。如今，去到block E，感觉真不如从前。Block E不再热闹了，冷清清的，好不寂寞。我想起了好多好多。原来，我在HELP已经有3年的时间了。
记得我刚进来的第一年，我都不用华文。英文烂，但我还是天天说烂英语。记得那年，我还没有走出失恋的创伤，所以我一直都苦兮兮的模样。Olivia，应该是我在BPSYCH里认识的第一个朋友吧？然后，是Wayne哥哥。和他在一起，非常搞笑。他应该是我认识的一个人烟客。我天天和他说，叫他戒烟，他天天就唱“没有烟抽的日子”给我听。呵呵！
峥嵘，是我过后认识的。和他感情好，但那个衰仔只会天天叫我陪他翘课、陪他吃Secret。名副其实的猪朋狗友啊！然后，认识你。那时，应该是第1年的第2个学期的Abnormal Psych。你是峥嵘的朋友，Olivia的同学，自然我们就混熟了。和你谈了很久，才知道你的名字，原来，你叫李兴权。之后，我在BPSYCH的日子里，就少不了你的名字。
3 年了，很多人，很多事都改变了。记得，当初我义无反顾拿下心理学，是因为我说，我想了解人是什么一回事，人是什么东西。今天，我还是不了解。当我低头饮吸我的美禄时，我在想，3年里的我，究竟改变了几多，了解人了几多？明天的我，又会是怎样？以前，Wayne哥哥常带我去的HP Cafe，现在都应经拆了。而峥嵘，也都转去IT读了。你，也快要出国了。
等一下，就要考试了！印象中，我还是第一次去考Psych paper，没有你伴着。感觉挺怪的！看来，我还是非常依赖。呵呵！我会加油的！
Written 15/10/2008 @ 11:51 a.m.
记得我刚进来的第一年，我都不用华文。英文烂，但我还是天天说烂英语。记得那年，我还没有走出失恋的创伤，所以我一直都苦兮兮的模样。Olivia，应该是我在BPSYCH里认识的第一个朋友吧？然后，是Wayne哥哥。和他在一起，非常搞笑。他应该是我认识的一个人烟客。我天天和他说，叫他戒烟，他天天就唱“没有烟抽的日子”给我听。呵呵！
峥嵘，是我过后认识的。和他感情好，但那个衰仔只会天天叫我陪他翘课、陪他吃Secret。名副其实的猪朋狗友啊！然后，认识你。那时，应该是第1年的第2个学期的Abnormal Psych。你是峥嵘的朋友，Olivia的同学，自然我们就混熟了。和你谈了很久，才知道你的名字，原来，你叫李兴权。之后，我在BPSYCH的日子里，就少不了你的名字。
3 年了，很多人，很多事都改变了。记得，当初我义无反顾拿下心理学，是因为我说，我想了解人是什么一回事，人是什么东西。今天，我还是不了解。当我低头饮吸我的美禄时，我在想，3年里的我，究竟改变了几多，了解人了几多？明天的我，又会是怎样？以前，Wayne哥哥常带我去的HP Cafe，现在都应经拆了。而峥嵘，也都转去IT读了。你，也快要出国了。
等一下，就要考试了！印象中，我还是第一次去考Psych paper，没有你伴着。感觉挺怪的！看来，我还是非常依赖。呵呵！我会加油的！
Written 15/10/2008 @ 11:51 a.m.
Blog hop!
Supposed, I should be studying, reading and revising my materials for mid term. Obviously I am not, so this post is on my blog. I am in third year, and it has been 6 weeks in class.. But the sad truth is I still don't know what materials I should revise. It's going to sound weird as it going to be. It seems like my mind did not record anything in this 6 weeks time. I have no interested in assessment and profiling (maybe a bit of curiosity la), I don't like IO, and so, the only subject I am looking forward is forensic psychology. Aha, and I thought I know what the lecturers were saying during class, but when I looked at the notes, I was like: "Oh gosh, why things are not so familiar?" I set a goal for myself earlier before I went back to study, I told myself I need to get good results in third year in order to "save" my honour in the degree.. Yet, in the end, ah, I am still dreaming……
So well, I went online and do some clicking from blog to blog. It has been long time since I last blog hop. Usually, I am invisible. Well, today just don't have the mood to study! Textbooks are so boring, and they're in BLACK N WHITE! My attention can't even stay for a few minutes! So yea, I was hopping..
I went to Chan Theng's blog, went to Yee Liang's blog, went to Jien's blog, went to Lian's blog, went to Peh Fung's blog, went to Olivia's blog, went to Chen's blog, went to Sze Yii's blog, went to Rex's blog, went to How How's blog… so, this is my circle of friends.. Looking through their posts, it's like walking the days with them. Memories come and remind me of the time that we been together. And before I know, I'm actually smiling to myself. I remembered yesterday when I chatted with Chan Theng, he has been freaked out of my insanity as I'm telling him I'm "killing" people in my forensic assignment (which actually I'm telling the truth). I remembered Yee Liang, and of course his voice. Your voice is so warm that it touches deeply into my heart and nothing can replace you as my daddy.
My HELP friends, I have been attached to you all for these 3 years. And guess what, I just suddenly realized times have flied so fast! People do say that friends in undergraduate will be friends forever, and I do hope our friendship will be. I'm truthfully glad that I know each one of you. You all have brought great and wonderful memories to my life. And yea, come to think of it, Sze Yii, did you realize we have knew each other for 2 years +? Well, LLS!! I remembered that was the first project we did together! And then, we went xia xiang together! I have always like your smile, and like you being your size, and like you being with Yao Yang; cause everything seems to fit your style, and makes you looks sweeter. And Olivia, I don't remembered how I know you already, but I do remember we took Research Methods together and since then, we're always together. =) Chen, I guess I want to label you as "my most worried" friend in HELP. But looking at your new blog, I guess I don't need to worry you anymore. Like I always said, I'm hoping one day you'll surprise me by calling me, I'm looking forward for that day to come. And yea, don't silently leave to Australia without noticing me ok??
Jien, Lian & Rex (and HOW HOW), also known as the LRT. Hehe. I don't know how to go to one blog, without thinking of the other. Perhaps, I got my mind set that you all and 3 in 1. Jien, I miss you so much! Looking at ALL your photos, videos and posts, I can only say I'm so impressed on your speed to keep us update. It's so fast that when I got time to look at it, they are already outdated! Haha. I miss your little baby too; I saw you commented on his photo, he does look cute! Lian and Rex, it has been some times since we last gone out together. Everyone seems so busy with their works. No more pasar malam, no more late night movie… I don't see you all often already (our timetable and class venue sucks!).. Seems like our connection a bit loose.. haha.. Anyhow, we're going to have SHOGUN together right?? Perhaps, that's the time we tie the knot harder! ^^ And Peh Fung, where have you been? I know you been busy with you studies, and society issues as well, Gambateh ya! Please don't burn out yourself. =)
And so I realized, I actually love these people… =)
P/S: Yin, KaiYi, Giap & Yang, Love you too! Miss you all, drop me msg kay? *hugz*
P/S 2: Zeron don't envy!! I miss you too but I don't love you! =P
当我们一起17个月
看到你收到礼物很开心，我也很开心。知道你有感动，我知道我熬夜是值得的。其实，我觉得自己很笨的。因为，学了很久的Photoshop，一直都没有学会。很想很精心弄一幅很美丽的照片给我们，却一直没有成功。还好，你喜欢。让我有了少少的安慰。
太多的话，已经写在我送给你的短片里头。还是很纳闷，为什么给你的短片版本，是没有歌的！！
太多的话，已经写在我送给你的短片里头。还是很纳闷，为什么给你的短片版本，是没有歌的！！
Written on 12/10/2008 @ 1:12 a.m.
I got my thesis topic APPROVED!!
I'm so excited today! At least to some extends la. Excited on one hand, but the other hand I foresee the pathway for this sem will be getting harder. Hah, what you know? Hera approved my thesis topic! And well, she was pleased that I did something different from the norm. *I am thinking whether this is a good scenario* I can see, she is delighted, but then, I am thinking: uh huh, she's having high expectation on me! Yea, it is kinda true. When I told her my idea, she quickly drew a mind map of the whole thing on my paper.. and yeah, she encouraged me to read more journals =.=
Good sign? I heard from some friends and seniors that it's not easy to have thesis topic approved. But well, I got mine pass in one shot. I'm a bit amazed honestly! I was thinking yesterday night that I did not prepare enough material for me to go see her this afternoon, and yet, when I presented, I just passed! I was shocked myself as well. But then, I'm starting to feel the stress coming. Hera wants me to develop my OWN questionnaire! T_T oh well, to be fair, she didn't say she WANTS la. She just said, "it'll be good to have a questionnaire in Malaysia context, and it's not hard since you're taking profiling with me". In other words, I BETTER GO DEVELOP A QUESTIONNAIRE!
But well, at least for now, I got my topic approved!
Written on 9/10/2008 @ 11:23 p.m.
朋友一生一起走
深夜里，我写不出应该要交的功课。脑里一片空白，不知道要怎么下笔。然后，我的音乐箱响起张学友的歌：祝福和吻别。突然，想念着一班出国了的朋友
想念紫郡
想念Vivian
想念倩文
想念巧彤
想念ernest
想念arnold
想念小纹
想念giap
想念亿良爹爹
想念庭
想念恺毅 （我在想如果我写错了你的名字，你会不会宰了我）
想念很多很多的。想念太多太多的。原来，在我的回忆里，你们都没有离开过。今夜，真得很想念你们！
Written on 6/10/2008 @ 4:12 a.m.
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