终于轮到你开始忙了，哈哈！看你还敢每天“串”我嘛，自作自受了。呵呵！不过，你的老师也真是的，突然间一次过给那么多功课，想做死人么？可怜你啊，突然要受那么大的压力，你一定很累了。
我啊，真觉得自己糟糕啊。不能够帮你些什么的，有的也是帮你找一些功课上的资料，希望能够减轻一点的你负担咯。加油吧，宝贝！我相信你一定行的！我一定会支持你。让我们一起为未来奋斗吧！
活在当下，掌握今天
Critical Analysis
Went to see Hera again today, and the outcome is, oh well, I don't have enough critical analysis. Erm, I've been wondering about this thing, I know I'm not good at it, and it's impossible for me to shoot straight up to have good critical thinking skill, but what can I do to improve?
I'm dying of my thesis, really really dying. Feel so stress whenever I look at it. But then, thesis is still something I need to get it done to finish my course. So? What am I doing lately? Reading journals, trying to critical analyze each and every of them. Yet, no matter how hard I crack my brain, how I read and re-read my journals again, the 'a-ha' moment still won't come to me. I still cannot think what Hera said as critical. Oh gosh!
When my father drove me to college today, I heard this in the radio: Human brain got trillion cells to learn new things everyday, million cells to think. I'm thinking this statement for myself.. Where is my potential to strike? All I need now is critical thinking.. How and where I should learn?!?
I'm dying of my thesis, really really dying. Feel so stress whenever I look at it. But then, thesis is still something I need to get it done to finish my course. So? What am I doing lately? Reading journals, trying to critical analyze each and every of them. Yet, no matter how hard I crack my brain, how I read and re-read my journals again, the 'a-ha' moment still won't come to me. I still cannot think what Hera said as critical. Oh gosh!
When my father drove me to college today, I heard this in the radio: Human brain got trillion cells to learn new things everyday, million cells to think. I'm thinking this statement for myself.. Where is my potential to strike? All I need now is critical thinking.. How and where I should learn?!?
Writing my thesis draft
After few days of struggle, finally I'm starting to write my thesis draft. Looking at the marking scheme again, I feel I've the need to get it done early, send to Hera, let her check and get her comments for it. I've no confident. Totally no confident that I can do well. I heard Hera is tough, I heard Hera failed students, I heard the best that she gave is only a B-. So... Yea.. I don't think I can go any further..
I proposed November 6 for my 1st draft, and obviously it has failed. Proposed again on November 20, hopefully I managed to get it done by that time.. and send her the 1st draft, get comment, edit again. And hopefully, I don't fail her, and fail myself. *pray*
Going back to write my thesis.. must work hard on it..
I proposed November 6 for my 1st draft, and obviously it has failed. Proposed again on November 20, hopefully I managed to get it done by that time.. and send her the 1st draft, get comment, edit again. And hopefully, I don't fail her, and fail myself. *pray*
Going back to write my thesis.. must work hard on it..
Depressed... Get off me before I kill
Feel just like killing anyone that pissed me off. I'm not in a good mood. Things are all going very bad suddenly. What the hell? What have I done wrong to deserve this? Just one night and all my efforts and hard works are wasted? You must be kidding me right?!?
My forensic assignment, weeks of weeks we spent into it to create a so-called "good case" but.. It has to be disqualified even before the "serial killer game" started... what more? in result of that, it's a deduction of 2% for every group member! Imagine that! Suddenly I ask myself why I want to work so hard at the beginning!!! Suddenly I ask myself why I want to work so hard to gain extra credit for this course!!! THE END RESULT IS EVERYTHING IS DEDUCTED!! ....like these are things we want... like we purposely be careless to disqualify ourselves from the game... Come on Man! As much as I want, I want to participate, and I want my case to be unsolved.. DAMN!
Then, my thesis. 1 month before the submission date only I realized I don't know how to analyze my data? How fun could it be? Suddenly the whole research seems to be SO WRONG! Yet, when as usual I went to see my supervisor.. She did not comment on it. So, how the hell it supposed to be wrong? Which SPSS test should I dump in to run my data? I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I even got confused on my own research! What am I measuring? It seems a total rubbish and failure! How do I continue? DAMN!
And my IO psychology? Supposed the due date is 5 pm later in the afternoon, but I still haven't get a complete copy of the report. I don't want to bug anymore and not at all feel anxious on it already. I'm into deep depression.
Don't feel like doing anything or talk on anything anymore. Plainly useless and can't get rid of my bad mood.. And mind me, I'll get frustrated easily in such time.. (plus long week) and.. I do will bite if anyone pissed me...
My forensic assignment, weeks of weeks we spent into it to create a so-called "good case" but.. It has to be disqualified even before the "serial killer game" started... what more? in result of that, it's a deduction of 2% for every group member! Imagine that! Suddenly I ask myself why I want to work so hard at the beginning!!! Suddenly I ask myself why I want to work so hard to gain extra credit for this course!!! THE END RESULT IS EVERYTHING IS DEDUCTED!! ....like these are things we want... like we purposely be careless to disqualify ourselves from the game... Come on Man! As much as I want, I want to participate, and I want my case to be unsolved.. DAMN!
Then, my thesis. 1 month before the submission date only I realized I don't know how to analyze my data? How fun could it be? Suddenly the whole research seems to be SO WRONG! Yet, when as usual I went to see my supervisor.. She did not comment on it. So, how the hell it supposed to be wrong? Which SPSS test should I dump in to run my data? I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I even got confused on my own research! What am I measuring? It seems a total rubbish and failure! How do I continue? DAMN!
And my IO psychology? Supposed the due date is 5 pm later in the afternoon, but I still haven't get a complete copy of the report. I don't want to bug anymore and not at all feel anxious on it already. I'm into deep depression.
Don't feel like doing anything or talk on anything anymore. Plainly useless and can't get rid of my bad mood.. And mind me, I'll get frustrated easily in such time.. (plus long week) and.. I do will bite if anyone pissed me...
我受够了！！
我认真考虑过我们之间的问题。人家觉得我闹着玩，我说我不是。我是真得讨厌你了。彻彻底底地讨厌！我讨厌你的程度，已经到达我想刹死你的地步。我讨厌自己心软，一次又一次原谅了你。可是，今天，我再也不能够忍受了。
说过了很多次，生气了很多次，哭了很多次，可是，同样的一个情况，还是一次又一次的发生！为什么？是我说得不够明白？还是你没把我的话听进去？我问我自己，我是不是一个白疵，我也问自己，你是不是一块木头。怎么到了今时今日的地步，你还是不会看我的脸色，你还是不懂得我几时火气，你还是不会避开地雷？
几天前你说的话，原来是骗人的呀？你还果真当我是三岁的小孩，骗了一次又一次！你觉得，我是跟你闹着玩的吗？我是很认真看清，我不能够依靠你。我说过不知多少遍，你的年纪不小了，该为自己计划一下。你有听进去吗？喜欢喜欢，还是跟我闹着玩。不定性，冲动，你还真以为，你能够读一辈子的书，不用到你出去社会赚钱的时候？说我自私也罢，不过，我真不想以后拖三带小的时候，还要像照顾小孩一样照顾小孩的“小孩”爸！很累人的！我自问我没有这样伟大！
你是你妈妈的儿子，可是你不是我的儿子，我也不是你的妈妈。这句话，我说过不知道上万遍了。可是，为什么我还是需要一步一步牵着你走？爱情，不是这样的！我不要做你的妈妈！我一直没有向别人说，因为你要我相信你。而我相信你的结果是什么？你难道还不明白吗？你是真钝还是假呆？我累的时候，没有肩膀可以靠；我交代的事，不能够期望你会做好......这样的感情，悲不悲？
我求你放过我。因为我真得真得不喜欢！不喜欢！我不喜欢每次必须装着强硬的一面，去面对和解决一切的问题。我不喜欢每次要被你推着站在前头。我不喜欢，不喜欢！有时，我也像做小女人！！
说过了很多次，生气了很多次，哭了很多次，可是，同样的一个情况，还是一次又一次的发生！为什么？是我说得不够明白？还是你没把我的话听进去？我问我自己，我是不是一个白疵，我也问自己，你是不是一块木头。怎么到了今时今日的地步，你还是不会看我的脸色，你还是不懂得我几时火气，你还是不会避开地雷？
几天前你说的话，原来是骗人的呀？你还果真当我是三岁的小孩，骗了一次又一次！你觉得，我是跟你闹着玩的吗？我是很认真看清，我不能够依靠你。我说过不知多少遍，你的年纪不小了，该为自己计划一下。你有听进去吗？喜欢喜欢，还是跟我闹着玩。不定性，冲动，你还真以为，你能够读一辈子的书，不用到你出去社会赚钱的时候？说我自私也罢，不过，我真不想以后拖三带小的时候，还要像照顾小孩一样照顾小孩的“小孩”爸！很累人的！我自问我没有这样伟大！
你是你妈妈的儿子，可是你不是我的儿子，我也不是你的妈妈。这句话，我说过不知道上万遍了。可是，为什么我还是需要一步一步牵着你走？爱情，不是这样的！我不要做你的妈妈！我一直没有向别人说，因为你要我相信你。而我相信你的结果是什么？你难道还不明白吗？你是真钝还是假呆？我累的时候，没有肩膀可以靠；我交代的事，不能够期望你会做好......这样的感情，悲不悲？
我求你放过我。因为我真得真得不喜欢！不喜欢！我不喜欢每次必须装着强硬的一面，去面对和解决一切的问题。我不喜欢每次要被你推着站在前头。我不喜欢，不喜欢！有时，我也像做小女人！！
我想哭！
有想哭的感觉，可是泪在心头，就是流不出。我好讨厌自己，我就是好讨厌自己。讨厌自己白痴，讨厌自己依赖。
花了很长的时间，才让自己明白，原来我什么都不想要。从一开始，我说很多很多；到今天，我不再想说了。
可能，一开始，就是错的。正如你曾经说过，我是你错误的选择。（对，你说你是开玩笑的；可是，你不知道我在意）很多很多时候，你说你是无心，只是我不知道，你的无心是否有意。我开始心淡了，淡的连一细细的感觉，也快要没有了。我不想强求了。如果非要勉强在一起，那又何必？
机会，我给过很多很多。可是，机会是给懂得珍惜的人。你一而再，再而三令我很失望。你让我如何去说服自己去给你多一次机会？不明白我的人，不懂得我脾气的人，方向不一样的人，要怎么继续？
又是一个人了...... 我要加油哦！
花了很长的时间，才让自己明白，原来我什么都不想要。从一开始，我说很多很多；到今天，我不再想说了。
可能，一开始，就是错的。正如你曾经说过，我是你错误的选择。（对，你说你是开玩笑的；可是，你不知道我在意）很多很多时候，你说你是无心，只是我不知道，你的无心是否有意。我开始心淡了，淡的连一细细的感觉，也快要没有了。我不想强求了。如果非要勉强在一起，那又何必？
机会，我给过很多很多。可是，机会是给懂得珍惜的人。你一而再，再而三令我很失望。你让我如何去说服自己去给你多一次机会？不明白我的人，不懂得我脾气的人，方向不一样的人，要怎么继续？
又是一个人了...... 我要加油哦！
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